By Caroline Coxe
The verdict is: A lot of people want to see the POTUS get creamed in a fight.
Honorable mentions are bolded.
I’d like to see Billie Joe Armstrong get punched in the face by Seal. Seal would win.
Michael Cera and the car from Back To the Future. Who would win? Anyone who watched.
Nicki Minaj and Miley Cyrus. One can never forget the iconic and relevant “Miley, was good?” Nicki would destroy Miley ^_^
Kelly and the Olsen Twin. Olsen Twin would win because she can move so fast it appears as if there are two.
Nicki Minaj vs. Miley Cyrus- “Nicki hands down”
Poetry battle between Nikki Giovanni and Saul Williams
Tyler the Creator and Adam Sandler. They each have their own bizarre blend of childlike absurdity, and they’re both agents of chaos, so it’d be a wild fight. Tyler would win though, since Adam has gone soft over the years.
Elon Musk vs. Lavar Ball. Lavar would win no doubt, and also make millions in pay per view which he would immediately waste on making crappy speakers.
John Oliver vs. Donald Trump
Will Ferrel and Chad Smith because they look identical and it would be nearly impossible to discern who won and who lost
Dwayne Johnson vs. Jane Goudau
Tommy Wiseu vs. Donald Trump
John McCain vs. Gucci Mane
Hannah Montana vs. Miley Cyrus. In the best of both worlds they would both win.
Kanye vs. Kanye
Yoda vs. Kevin Costner. Depends on whether they use weapons or not.
Jack Black vs. Steve Carrell
CupcakKe vs. Tyler, The Creator
Iggy Pop’s Bird vs Kart Lagerfeld’s cat
Meryl Streep vs. Jodie Foster
I would love to see Michelle Obama kick off her heels and beat Jeff Sessions with one and Betsy DeVos with the other
Ellen vs. Reese Witherspoon
Sufjan Stevens vs. Marina Abramovíc
Dr. Phil and a tub of Dr. Pepper. The delicious blend of 23 unique flavors.
Brad Williams and “The Rock”
Bernie Sanders vs. John Cena
Eric Andre vs. Betty White’s character on Community
Roadrunner vs. Harry Houdini. It would be a stalemate
Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake, she should whoop his ass
John Oliver and Donald Trump, John Oliver wins
Oscar the Grouch vs. the mouse in Cinderella. The mouse would win because Oscar is too lazy.
Cardi B vs Taylor Swift… Bartier Cardi Obviously!
Justin Bieber and Chris Brown. I don’t care who winds as long as they’re both pummeled.
Steve Buscemi and Ariana Grande. In theory, Grande would win a physical fight thanks to her heels and dangerously long hair, but emotionally, Buscemi’s Grumpy Cat eyes might give him the edge.
Gigi Hadid and Lana Del Rey. Lana Del Rey always wins.
Rihanna curb stomping Shawn Mendes. Rihanna always wins.
Martha Stewart and Guy Fieri, Martha wins.
Carrot Top vs Clone of Carrot Top. Winner: Carrot top ( but which one?) Loser: Anyone who has to watch that fight.
That guy from “when life gives you lemons” vine and Simon Cowell. The vine guy would win.
Airbud vs Lassie but they aren’t fighting they’re just shooting hoops and saving kids from wells.
Kirby vs. Windows 98
Karl Marx vs. Adam Smith (KM would win. YOU SEEN THAT GUY?!)
DMX and Joseph Gordon-Levitt
Donald Trump and Mike Tyson (1990s Tyson, go for the ear)
Drake and Josh
Nell Mittelstead vs. Cat Dog (Nell would win cuz she’s smart but CatDog might give her some trouble)
Paris Hilton vs. Nicole Richie, neither wins.
BB-8 vs. The Zodiac Killer (BB-8 wins probably because she’s a killer robot)
Beyonce vs. Obama. Is it even a question who would win?
Hawaiian Iz vs. Bald Britney Spears. It would be a tense battle but Iz would prevail.
Feb 26, 2018
featured image: Britney Spears